


kiss you like the first time

by unus_annus_eilish



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Ethan's a 1D stan, Fake Marriage, Fluff, I've been working on this for almost a full year, M/M, Post UA, They forget they have responsibilities, but they are referenced jokingly, idk if I should tag drug mention, it's based off of San Fransisco by Niall Horan, there's a really obvious John Mulaney reference, there's a super fluffy first kiss scene that I'm really proud of, they don't do drugs, they take a spontaneous road trip, they're painfully in love, yes that's disappointing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27743395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unus_annus_eilish/pseuds/unus_annus_eilish
Summary: I might show up on your doorstep, soakin' wetSay I'm done runnin' from the one that I want so bad
Relationships: Mark Fischbach & Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 11
Kudos: 129





	kiss you like the first time

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah... I've been working at this very slowly since March and decided fuck it, I'm posting it. I might do a years-down-the-road update but don't count on it

The weather outside was rainy, unusual for LA, but not unheard of. It was just different.

Ethan, blissfully unaware of the battle going on inside his best friend’s head, was listening to Niall Horan while making thumbnails. He was almost done, and he was relatively satisfied with the turnout. 

Mark, on the other hand, was sitting on his bed, on the verge of tears, something that rarely happened. He was generally a happy-go-lucky person, full of energy, and ready to crack some jokes. But at the moment, he was contemplating telling Ethan something that could almost definitely destroy their relationship.

It had occurred to him, no more than a few days ago while filming for Unus Annus, that Ethan was attractive. Like really, really, attractive. It had, in the moment, meant nothing, but as he pondered the thought of finding his best friend hot, it sunk in more and more.

Mark didn’t just think that his best friend was attractive.

He thought his best friend was the most gorgeous human being on the planet.

And he wouldn’t mind dating him. At all.

It had rocked his world the first day and a half, wondering how he could have gone so long without realizing how much he loved Ethan. He, originally, thought that the obvious solution would be to ignore it and it would go away, but his brain, and body, had other ideas.

Now he was left with a decision. Granted, there was really only one option, but he’d like to think there’s more. And so, as the rain streamed down his window, he sat alone to pick the future of, essentially, his whole life.

‘Heartbreak Weather’ by Niall Horan was playing in Ethan’s headphones. He loved the sound of Niall’s voice. He had been a fan of One Direction since he heard of them, and still loved their music as an adult.

He was finished with 2 of the 3 thumbnails that he needed to have done, only needing to complete the Unus Annus one before he could go get something to eat. He softly sang along to the song as he cut out Mark’s hair.

Mark’s hair was one of Ethan’s favorite things, He’s had a crush on Mark for years, amazing even himself with the fact that he’s kept it hidden for so long. Kathryn had tried to convince him a long time ago to tell him, but he wouldn’t budge.

In Ethan’s mind, he could hide anything as long as it meant that Mark would still be there for him.

Less than 15 minutes away, Mark had decided the opposite.

There was absolutely no way, even for an actor like Mark, that he could possibly keep this hidden well enough, so he might as well not even try. It would be best to just rush out his feelings and if Ethan didn’t feel the same, he would just have to deal with it later.

He knew that if he drove there, he would too easily convince himself to turn around and give up, so despite the rain, he would walk.

He slipped on a random hoodie, only realizing once he looked in the mirror that it was his blackout ‘soft boi’ hoodie that Ethan had given him. Figuring it might help his cause, he grabbed the matching beanie and put it over his hair.

He kissed Chica’s head and walked out the door into the pouring rain.

It wasn’t the worst feeling in the world. He found that the cold rain actually soothed his nerves. He was still nervous, given the circumstances, but he was at peace with the fact that the outcome might not be what he wanted.

He turned onto Ethan’s street, managing to psych himself up again, but calming himself by the time he reached the door.

He knocked 4 times, like the ‘unus annus, unus annus’ chant. It was a silly thing that Ethan had come up with and had somehow stuck. He could hear Ethan coming down the stairs, rushing to the door, knowing that it was Mark.

As he opened the door, his breath was taken away, Mark looked gorgeous. His hair was stuck to his forehead, drenched in rain despite being protected by one of Ethan’s beanies. In fact, his whole body was soaked. After a moment, he snapped out of it.

“Mark?”

“Um, hi.” 

“What are you doing here?”

“Well I was kind of hoping we could,” Mark seemed nervous, “Talk?”

“Um? Yeah? Do you want to come inside? I was just making tea, I can get you some.”

“Okay.” Mark nodded slowly.

Ethan was concerned. Having known Mark for years and years, he knew something was off. He was uncharacteristically quiet and seemed reluctant to come in the house, something that hadn’t happened since the very first time he came over.

“What’s up?” Ethan asked, trying to stay as casual as possible, both for Mark’s sanity and his own.

Mark inhaled deeply, exhaling a few seconds later, clearly shaky. Ethan wondered if something bad had happened. He was on the verge of a panic attack, something that he had only seen a few times when he was seriously frustrated or over worked.

“Do you need to go sit on the couch?” Ethan said softly, hoping that his voice could snap him out of it. It’s not everyday your crush has a panic attack at your kitchen table.

Mark shook his head. Ethan nodded and poured the now boiling water into both mugs he had gotten out. There was a bag of honey vanilla Chamomile tea in each. The bag not fully steeped, but good enough, Ethan handed Mark his cup along with a spoon and his sugar container.

Mark swallowed and pulled the mug closer to him. He submerged the bag with the spoon and let the color slowly fade to an orange brown. He enjoyed watching the steady rise to color, and it calmed his once again growing anxiety.

He knew that he wouldn’t be able to confess here, despite his best efforts. He couldn’t risk ruining this moment. It was so calm and Ethan looked so beautiful, his soft hair resting gently against his forehead, his long beige sweater that almost definitely came from the women’s section of H&M and reached his knees looked so nice against his black jeans and black unus annus t-shirt.

“On second thought,” Mark said, calmer now, “Couch?”

“Absolutely,” Ethan smiled, glad that Mark was comfortable enough to go sit on the couch instead of at the counter.

The boys took their tea and sat down on the couch. Mark put his mug on a coaster that he had bought specifically because Ethan didn’t use them and it drove him insane. Seeing that Ethan’s mug was on the wood coffee table, Mark rolled his eyes.

Ethan turned on the TV, knowing that whatever they turned on would just be background noise. He clicked onto Disney+ and started Ironman 3, the best ironman movie.

He grabbed his favorite blanket off of the back of the couch. It was a very large, extremely soft one he had gotten at Costco. He spread it out over himself, allowing a bit of it to go onto Mark’s legs, letting him know that if he wanted to use it he could.

Mark took advantage of the opportunity and snuggled up under it. Reluctant as he was, Mark scooted closer to Ethan.

It wasn’t the first time they had ever cuddled, far from it in fact. But it was the first time they had cuddled since he had realized his feelings. Looking back, cuddling with Ethan had always made him feel warm inside. Cuddling, despite his bad boy persona, was one Mark’s favorite things.

They were only a few inches apart from the waist up, but their legs, somehow, were entangled as soon as they laid down. They were like magnets, slowly pulling each other in until they are stuck together.

Ethan, slowly becoming sleepy due to both the tea and how comfy Mark was, started to drift off. His eyes shut, opening and closing a few times before they finally closed and his head drooped onto Mark’s chest. It was something not uncommon, but Mark realized only in this moment just how domestic it was.

There was something about cuddling that made it so intimate. There was no danger in it, there was nothing embarrassing, you can’t really cuddle wrong, and yet there was something about it that was so gentle.

Ethan was softly snoring, almost too soft to even qualify. Mark’s heart started to flutter. He wanted to keep this moment forever. So he did the next best thing, He took a picture, the best he could do to remember this moment.

His thoughts wandered, everywhere from semi-focused on the movie to fonding over the sleeping Ethan curled up against his chest. 

He thought about what it would be like to do this for the rest of his life. He could get used to it for sure. It came so natural for them to be around each other. There was never a time, even the first time they met, when it was awkward for them. There were people all the time who come up to them in stores and tell them that they’re a cute couple. If only they were.

Which brought Mark back to the reason he came over to Ethan’s house in the first place. He had fully meant to tell him, but when he saw how pretty he looked, he knew that the words just wouldn’t come out. An idea struck him and his heart started to beat rapidly in his chest.

The movement of his heart, sounding as if it was banging against his lungs, must have made Ethan wake up, because his eyes started to flutter and he yawned. Stretching out his arms before letting them collapse wherever they landed, Ethan punched Mark in the balls.

“Oh my God!” Ethan whisper-yelled when he realized what he did.

“You’re good,” Mark breathed out through gritted teeth.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah”

“You look weird.” Ethan said, looking up at Mark’s face

“Ouch,” 

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Ethan winced, realizing how that sounded, “You just look confused. What’s up?”

“I-” Mark started, unable to believe he was actually going to bring it up, “Had a crazy idea.”

Ethan hummed, “How crazy? Are we talking pee sauna? Getting pepper sprayed? Nude paintings? Taz-” 

“I wanna drive to San Francisco.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Like? Now?” Ethan asked, not rejecting the idea right off the bat.

“Um,” Mark pondered the idea, “Yeah, kinda”

“Well you’ve got some extra clothes here,” Ethan started, “And I’ve got some snacks.”

Mark looked shocked. “You mean,” he paused, deciding whether or not Ethan was joking, “You’re down to like, drop everything and just go to San Francisco?”

“Why not?” Ethan shrugged, “s’not like we’re watching the movie anyway.”

Smiling, Mark started to run his fingers through his own hair. He was just slightly concerned that the only thing that Ethan considered to be tying him to LA was the movie that was playing.

“We should probably bring the dogs, right?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, probably.”

“I have an extra leash, we could probably pack my car and then just swing by your house to grab Chica right?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Dope.”

Mark gagged, “Did you just un-ironically say ‘dope’?”

“Yeah, got a problem with it bruh?”

“Nevermind I can’t take 5 and a half hours of you, forget it.”

“Don’t be mean,” Ethan whined before his frown turned into a smirk, “babe.”

Normally, the cringey pet name would have made Mark laugh, but instead, it made him choke.

“What?” Ethan smirked, “Got a thing for pet names Markimoo?”

It took everything in Mark’s body to not blurt ‘no, but I got a thing for you.’ but he managed, electing to instead roll his eyes and lightly shove Ethan, who was still in his lap.

Ethan gasped, “Don’t treat heapass like that!”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Mark nodded, playing along.

They made eye contact for a moment, the world seeming to stop spinning, allowing them to simply exist. It was a crazy feeling, having time freeze, just for a second, to get lost in each other’s eyes. Nothing around them mattered, instead opting to disappear into the oblivion. Figuratively of course.

When the moment was broken, a silent pact had been made to never speak of it again.

“We should probably get packing,” Ethan said as Mark nodded and coughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, okay.”

The boys stood up, still visibly uncomfortable, not because they hated what happened, but because they were afraid that the other hated it. They walked silently up the stairs, avoiding eye contact,

They snapped out of it quickly, realizing how stupid it was. They seemed to come to the conclusion at the same time, making eye contact and immediately collapsing onto Ethan’s bed, giggling.

Sunlight streamed through the slats of Ethan’s blinds, making the room feel super warm and happy. There was no way you could replicate the feeling. Pure euphoria was floating through the room like bubbles. It was intoxicating.

Despite wanting to stay in the moment forever, time was ticking, and if they wanted to get to San Francisco by night, they'd have to get going. They each grabbed a pair of shorts, stretchy enough to fit Mark despite being Ethan’s, and a pair of jeans. Mark, who was over at Ethan’s a lot, had a full outfit, just in case.

“Do you want to grab one of my hoodies for me?” Ethan asked, grabbing Mark's spare toothbrush from his bathroom. 

“Sure,” Mark replied, grabbing the black soft boi hoodie out of the drawer, not realizing what was weird about his choice.

“Really?” Ethan asked, returning from the bathroom and putting the toiletries in the backpack.

“What?”

“Matching sweaters?”

Mark looked down at his hoodie and then back at the one he set out for Ethan. They were in fact the same sweaters.

“What?” Mark said, doubling down, “Got a problem with it?”

Ethan shrugged, going back to packing. On the outside he looked fine, but his insides were on fire.

It was almost scary how well he could hide his crush. This wasn’t the first time he had gotten a crush on one of his friends, although he was never one for telling somebody when he liked them, and so his technique was quite well developed.

Mark on the other hand, typically much more confident in his feelings but much less confident in the area of ‘discovering you have a crush on your very male best friend’, was not doing so well.

But Ethan was so oblivious it wouldn’t have mattered in the first place.

The bag packed full of essentials, the boys headed back downstairs into the kitchen to get some snacks. They filled up a cooler full of fruit snacks, granola bars, chips, crackers, and drinks. Despite their opinions on sparkling water, they both grabbed a can that had found its way into Ethan’s fridge.

They made stupid puns about the snacks and laughed so hard Ethan nearly hit his head on the counter, and would’ve had Mark not put his hand there just in time. If anybody ever saw them hanging out alone, they’d probably assume they were on drugs, and they’d be almost right.

The boys were addicted to each other. Like when someone drinks too much, or snorts cocaine, or bets the house on the ponies. Or like when someone smokes too many cigarettes. Or like when someone shops too much with credit cards. Or like when someone plays too many scratchy lotteries. Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake. Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake and then barfs it up. The amount of laughter they shared was probably higher than any couple, and they aren’t even dating.

It was a wonderful thing to be a part of if you were Mark or Ethan, but a hazard if you were anyone else. Both boys had nearly burned down their houses at some point because of how hard they were laughing. It was probably something they should be more careful about, but they were never the most careful people in the first place.

They brought the bag of clothes and the cooler out to Ethan’s mini cooper. Although it was small, it wasn’t an issue, they didn’t need a big car. Mark liked to tease Ethan about how small the car was, but Mark’s tesla wasn’t much bigger. 

“You know-” Ethan cut Mark off, 

“If you are about to make another joke about my car,” Ethan said in a warning tone, “I will kick you in the balls.”

Mark was silent. “That’s what I thought,” Ethan smirked.

Mark looked annoyed, but got in the passenger seat of the car regardless. “I’m not driving the whole way,” Ethan stated, “Your idea, you drive part of the way.”

Mark nodded, “Seems fair to me.”

“Wow, THE Markiplier just agreed with me without arguing.”

“Shut it.”

“Breaking news, Mark Edward Fischbach is a softie for Ethan Nestor.”

Mark groaned.

“Sources say he’s whipped,”

“If you don’t pull the car out of the garage right now,” Mark threatened, “I will personally murder you.”

“Sexy.” Ethan joked.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Your idiot.”

Mark choked, but played it off, “Sorry, I just died of cliche for a minute.”

Ethan rolled his eyes but finally pulled out of the driveway.

“Thank God, I thought we’d never leave.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

Ethan huffed, knowing it was true but not wanting to blow his cover and admit it.

Mark started to mess with the radio station and if looks could kill, Mark would’ve been dead.

“Touch my radio one more time and we’ll see what happens.” Ethan warned.

“Come on, you’re literally listening to the most basic pop station in all of California.”

“And you’re literally in my car. We’re listening to KIIS or you can get out.”

Mark banged his head against the headrest but stayed in the car.

Ethan stuck his tongue out at Mark, who just rolled his eyes.

“You’re a child.”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“You have literally just proved my point.”

“yOu HaVe LiTeRaLlY jUsT pRoVeD mY pOiNt.” Ethan mocked in the dumb voice that he does when he’s mocking Mark.

Mark just glared. Pulling out his phone, Mark took a selfie with Ethan, who was too busy driving to pose.

Mark opened Twitter and added the picture to a new tweet, he captioned it and showed it to Ethan before posting it.

“Baby Driver” Ethan read aloud, “Really?”

Mark giggled and posted the tweet. Instantly getting hundreds of likes and replies.

Mark was laughing at the replies as Ethan continued to drive.

“What are they saying?” Ethan groaned.

“Just how much of a baby you are,” Mark replied.

“Read me one.”

“Okay. Someone said ‘Didn’t know children were allowed to drive cars.”

“Very funny.”

“I know right?”

Ethan rolled his eyes and Mark laughed. 

“I think you’re the child,” Ethan replied, “Your sense of humor is so below your age,” There was a pause and then Ethan spoke again, “Which is old.”

“Child,” Mark whispered under his breath, “You look like a fetus.”

“At least I don’t look like you.”

“You couldn’t handle looking like me.”

“Oh really? Why’s that?”

“I’m THE Markiplier, literally everybody on the planet has a crush on me.”

“Nuh-uh.” Ethan argued,

“Prove it.”

Normally, Ethan would have argued until they were 6 feet under, he knew they were only joking and he thought it was funny, but this was not a route he could really prove, even he had a crush on Mark. So he huffed instead, the biggest mistake in his long time of hiding his crush.

Mark, oblivious as ever, thought nothing of it. Ethan was encouraged by this and decided to fight it regardless.

“Lesbians.”

Mark jerked his head up to look at Ethan, “What?”

Ethan, realizing how out of context that statement was, grimaced.

“Lesbians don’t have a crush on you.”

Mark smirked, and looked back at his phone.

“Can’t find a way to dispute it?” Ethan asked cockily.

Mark, who was scrolling through his camera roll, was clearly trying not to giggle.

Ethan was confused until Mark held up his phone. It was a collage of screenshotted tweets, at a quick glance, Ethan recognized the words ‘lesbian’, ‘Markiplier’, and ‘crush’.

“Read it to me,” Ethan announced, not wanting to get into a car crash, especially with Mark in the car.

Mark shrugged and started to read. “Rachel says, ‘Tell me why, as a lesbian, I find Markiplier so attractive.’ And Alli says, ‘Brain: Lesbian, Heart: Lesbian Brain: Lesbian, Heart: Markiplier hot, Brain: Wut?’”

“Okay, okay, you’ve proved your point. But I bet straight dudes don’t have a crush on you.”

Mark smirked and went to scroll through his camera roll again.

“I swear to god if you have examples of straight guys saying you’re hot I’m gonna pull over right here and drive to San Francisco by myself.”

Mark started to laugh and gave up trying to prove his point, knowing that he had already won.

“I hate you,” Ethan deadpanned.

“No you don’t, we’ve already been over this.”

“Yeah, but I’ve decided that I hate you in the last 20 minutes.” Ethan retorted. Mark smirked.

“Yeah right.”

“How are you going to prove that I don’t hate you?”

“Well for one, I’m in your car,” Mark answered as Ethan scowled, “Two, you’re talking to me. Three, you’re holding my hand.”

Ethan whipped his eyes away from the road to look at the console, where his and Mark’s fingers were, in fact, intertwined.

Ethan took a deep breath and exhaled shakily, “How long-”

“About 5 minutes.” Mark cut him off.

“I was just trying to crush all the bones in your hand, obviously.”

“Sure,” Mark said, obviously not believing him.

Ethan scoffed, “I get nervous when I drive?” he was grasping at straws, trying to come up with any and every excuse possible for holding Mark’s hand.  
Mark looked suspicious but was willing to drop the conversation, he was very uncomfortable, not because of Ethan holding his hand, but because he genuinely didn’t know how long he had been holding it. It felt so natural that Mark didn’t even notice when it happened. Holding your best friend’s hand was not something that should feel natural.

What’s worse is he wasn’t even sure if he or Ethan initiated the act.

What’s worse than that, is that neither of them had let go yet, and it appeared that neither of them had any plans to let go.

The term ‘worse’ is used loosely, only applying in the sense of them trying to hide their extremely obvious crushes on each other. ‘Worse’ meaning that they were each only falling more hopelessly in love with their best friend by the second.

And the clock was ticking away.

(Author’s note: My writing sucks, just pretend they stopped at Mark’s house to get Chica, so Spencer and Chica are in the car with them.)

***

Nearly 2 hours later, the boys pulled over to pee and switch spots. Mark, who had previously agreed to drive half of the way there, was regretting it. He loved driving, and loved being in the car with Ethan, but in order for them to switch places, the boys hand to let go of each other’s hands.

The fact that they had managed to hold hands for nearly an hour and a half without stopping or acknowledging it, was something of a miracle. They weren’t even dating and yet they had held hands for hours, cuddled, and took impromptu road trips together.

Ethan was trying to act like he wasn’t affected by it, but he was. He loved holding hands with Mark even if he was his best friend and not boyfriend. 

Mark was also a bit too enthusiastic about the situation. Technically, their relationship hadn’t changed, even with their hours of hand holding. They were still just best friends that were crushing on each other like teenagers.

When they stopped, they had to go to the bathroom and let the dogs out for a run around the rest stop. Although Spencer and Chica were both well behaved, two hours in the car with each other hyped their energy up and they needed to release it. Seems like they might have learned it from somewhere.

The boys watched as Spencer and Chica chased each other around in the grass. People passing by probably thought that the boys were together. They even got a couple of looks, two were disgusted, which pissed both of them off, there were a few of ‘ew they are so cute together it’s disgusting, and one person looked like they were going to come up and ask them if they were married.

Homophobia was something that both boys had publicly stated against, but it had come easier for Ethan than Mark. In 2015, when the supreme court legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states, Ethan had posted a picture with the caption #lovewins. He had supported the community since he learned about it and always very publicly loved everybody. He even kind of came out in a video a few months prior, saying that he wasn’t exactly bi, but that he thought guys were hot and he had kissed boys before.

Mark, however, had a few controversies that he never meant to happen. He had slipped up and used a transphobic slur in a drunk minecraft video and handled the backlash very poorly. It took him a while to respond in a healthy way and it made him so sad that he ever let it happen in the first place. As soon as he understood the effect it had on people’s mental health, he set out to fix his mistakes the best he could. He had raised over a million dollars for the Trevor Foundation, gone to pride parades, and tweeted topical pro-trans things when he felt that it was appropriate.

When either of the boys experienced homophobia, whether in public or online, they were outraged. They knew individually that it was bad to fight fire with fire, but they felt the need to stand up for themselves when they were together. One time, they had been sitting on a bench together and someone had called them the f-slur. Outraged, Mark grabbed Ethan’s hand and kissed him on the cheek, just to annoy anybody who disagreed with them. Ethan had been so shocked in that moment that he forgot the possibility of Mark finding out about his crush, he was purely in love, and the feeling hadn’t worn off yet.

They stood there, talking about random video ideas, video games, and youtubers for a few more minutes until the dogs laid down in the grass. Deciding that it was time to go, Mark and Ethan attached the leashes to Chica and Spencer and brought them back to the car. 

It was hot outside, being a Southern California summer, and the inside of Ethan’s car felt hotter than the surface of the sun. The dogs were panting and the boys were sweaty, it would have been miserable had they all not been having the time of their lives.

“You stink,” Ethan giggled at Mark.

“Not as bad as you do.”

“Well at least I’m cuter,” Ethan retorted.

“You can have it,” Mark responded cockily, “I’m hotter than you.”

“Sure.”

“Wow, no fight in this one today, huh?” Mark asked the dogs, “He’s a little baby huh?”

“Says the one talking in a baby voice to the dogs.”

“Shut it Nestor.”

“Or what?” Ethan replied brattily

“You don’t have the strength to find out,” Mark winked, turning back around in the driver’s seat.

“Oh really?” Ethan asked, “Why’s that?”

“‘Cause you’re a baby,” Mark responded.

“Am not!”

“This conversation seems very similar to the one we had earlier,” Mark joked.

“Because you only have one insult!” Ethan snapped.

“Do not!”

“Okay, call me something else then!” Ethan dared.

“Bitch” Mark muttered under his breath, too quiet for Ethan to hear.

“What was that?”

“I called you a bitch,” Mark repeated.

“Oh how original,” Ethan mocked.

“Better than you could do.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Well Mark, I think you’re an unoriginal, overreacting, sack of potato skins.”

“Potato skins?”

“I said what I meant and I meant what I said,” Ethan doubled down, “You just don’t want to show that you’re hurt by it.”

“Why would I be hurt by you calling me a sack of potato skins? That’s the most nutritious part of the potato!”

“Leave it up to you to make an insult into some boring vegetable fact.”

“Technically, potatoes are a starch, not a vegetable.” Mark corrected.

“You suck.”

"You sure? last I checked you were the one who's into that."

Ethan rolled his eyes, “Congratulations Mark, you made a joke about my sexuality, what do you want, a gold star?”

Mark was taken aback, Ethan had never gotten defensive about gay jokes before, and now that Mark had realized his own sexuality, he didn’t realize that Ethan would be offended by any jokes. Although, he realized, he hadn’t come out to Ethan, or anyone, so he hadn’t really earned the right to gay jokes yet.

“I- I didn’t mean to offend you,” Mark stuttered.

“I know you didn’t, it’s just something that you don’t understand I guess.”

Mark knew that there was a clear moment where he could come out, but he didn’t think it was the right time. There were so many things that could go wrong and could leave him stranded in the middle of California, even though he was driving.

And so an uncomfortable silence fell over the car, lasting far longer than the two of them could normally ever stay quiet. It was something that very rarely happened between them, they were usually very comfortable around each other and yet they were sitting in an uncomfortably quiet car, both too scared to say anything.

The radio had cut out a while ago and Ethan had connected his phone to the car. The song ‘Voulez Vous’ by ABBA was playing. Neither of the boys were in a bad mood, there was just awkward tension in the car. Ethan was nodding his head along to the song while he played animal crossing on his switch. Mark kept his eyes on the road and didn’t look away.

Finally deciding that it had been long enough that they had been uncomfortably quiet, Ethan turned off his switch and put his hand on top of Mark’s. Mark took notice, but didn’t look away in case Ethan got uncomfortable.

“You good?” Ethan asked.

Mark nodded his head, “Yeah,”

“What’s wrong then?”

“Nothing, I just thought you were mad at me.”

“If I were mad at you, you would not be driving my car right now.”

“Fair.”

“We good?”

Mark smiled and nodded, “Absolutely.”

Ethan intertwined their fingers and the song changed to ‘As Good as New’ by ABBA. Ethan giggled but tried to hide it by biting the sleeve of his sweater. Mark noticed despite his best efforts.

“What’s so funny?” Mark asked.

“Nothing,” Ethan lied, “I just like the guitar in this song.”

Mark, having known Ethan for years, knew he was lying. He glared skeptically at Ethan for a second before Ethan started to stutter again.

“What? It’s funky,” Ethan lied through his teeth. He knew that it wasn’t working so he decided to try the next best thing, making Mark laugh. He began to imitate the sounds of the electric guitar with his mouth and pretended to play along with the song.

Mark laughed and, just as he had hoped, forgot completely about questioning Ethan.

They continued driving, having casual conversations that neither of their ADD brains really grasped onto. Occasionally one of them would crack and joke and they would bust out laughing. Their real life chemistry was just like on camera. They had known each other for so long that any characters they had created on camera had seeped into their normal selves without anyone noticing. Sometimes someone would point out Mark making a very Wilford-esque comment or Ethan staring blankly into the abyss while doing normal everyday things. Some people found it creepy, but they thought it was funny.

‘The Chain’ by Fleetwood Mac was blaring through the speakers and the boys were singing out the words as loud as they possibly could. It was unclear if they were trying to out-loud each other or if they were really just that into the song. Spencer and Chica, who had been sleeping on the backseat, were now wide awake.

When the song ended and a mellow Beatles song started to play, Mark turned the volume back down to an appropriate volume. Ethan slouched in the passenger seat and stuck out his bottom lip.

“If you pout like that a fly’s gonna land on your lip,” Mark stated subconsciously.

“You sound like my grandma,” Ethan retorted.

“That’s ridiculous,” Mark sighed, “My grandma doesn’t even speak english.”

“That’s why I said you sounded like my grandma genius.”

“I literally met your grandma like,” Mark paused, “twice.”

“Yeah, but still. More than I’ve met your grandma.”

“You have had no reason to meet my grandma.”

“Well you didn’t have to meet mine.”

“Maybe I didn’t want to.”

“UH-” Ethan objected, “You literally tried to break into my house just to meet my grandma.”

“Touche.”

“I miss her,” Ethan commented.

“So do I,” Mark agreed.

“Okay mister ‘I only met your grandma twice.’”

“Well I only met her once, technically.”

“I hate you.”

“Are we seriously about to have this argument again?” Mark asked, “Because you are consciously holding my hand this time and I know that for a fact.”

Ethan just huffed.

***

They had to stop for another pee break about an hour later, and somehow it was even cuter this time. They got twice the looks they did the first time, and nobody looked at them in a negative way. Maybe it was the matching sweaters, maybe it was the way that watched their dogs play together.

But it was probably the fact that they were holding hands. In fact, it was almost definitely that they were holding hands. And even so, they were still no more dating than they were an hour and a half ago. They were 4 1/2 hours into their nearly 6 hour drive and they were having so much fun.

When they met the first and second time, it was just a fan/creator relationship, and when Mark hired Ethan, it was just a little bit above that. They got closer and closer while Ethan worked for Mark, and when he finally quit, they remained friends. Unus Annus only brought them closer, despite the way it seemed on camera. Mark was so proud of Ethan and sometimes it leaked through.

They had bonded so much over the years and it showed in their ability to sit together for hours and just talk. They had always clicked so well that they lit up the room whenever they were together. Chica and Spencer loved to hang out and the boys often used that as an excuse to hang out with each other.

Holding hands for hours, even when you are dating, is not a super cute thing. Especially not in a hot car in the summer, in Southern California. But when you aren’t dating the person you’re holding hands with, it's about all the physical contact you can have. Granted, they had probably crossed the completely platonic line a while ago, but they weren’t making out just yet.

They got back in the car after almost half an hour at the rest stop. They stopped for gas on the way out of the small town and ate snacks as they drove.

It was about 3:00 pm and they were somehow not tired of each other. It certainly wasn’t the longest they had spent together, doing monthly 12 hour live streams made sure of that, but recently it seemed that they were both so busy they never got to hang out for a full day. It was nice.

They had stopped holding hands for a while, deciding that they better eat something before they pass out. They were still about an hour away from San Francisco.

“Did we get a hotel?” Mark asked, looking away from the road for just a second.  
“Did we get a hotel?” Ethan repeated.

“Ehh, I’m not worried, are you worried?” Mark shrugged.

“No, I’m not worried, are you worried?” Ethan responded

“No, I’m not worried, are you worried?”

“No, I’m not worried, are you worried?”

This repeated a few more times before Ethan broke and the joke ended.

“God that’s such a stupid bit.” Ethan laughed.

“You did it first.”

“Nuh-Uh!”

“Yes! Remember the beer sauna video?”

“You right,” Ethan joked, imitating Mark.

“Remember how freaked out everyone was about the pee sauna?”

“Yeah,” Ethan smiled fondly, “That wasn’t even that bad.”

Mark nodded in agreement, “The beer smelled worse.”

“We’ve done some of the most random crap I can think of.”

“Do you regret deleting it?” Mark asked.

“I don’t think so,” Ethan answered, “There are memories that I think will fade but I think that’s part of the experience. Plus we’ve still got access to all the videos if we really want to see them.”

Mark nodded, “Maybe we should do a lookback in a few years.”

“Maybe,” Ethan pondered, “You think we’ll still be close in a few years?”

Mark looked hurt, “Do you not think we will?”

Ethan got defensive but was clearly upset, “I don’t know,” he responded honestly, sounding absolutely heartbroken.

“Why?” Mark nearly yelled, conscious of Ethan’s upset and dislike of conflict.

“I’m not sure,” Ethan answered, “I was surprised we made it this far. Most people get sick of me pretty quickly, but you’re still here, I just can’t see you staying much longer.”

Mark opened his mouth to reassure Ethan but was interrupted.

“I know that you’re gonna say something about how I should be more confident in my relationships and personality, how you won’t get sick of me and you’re glad to have me around, but it won’t help. I’ve had this happen before, and they never stick.”

Mark tried to talk again but Ethan continued.

“It’s just that I’m seven years younger than you. I just feel like a kid around you. I feel like you want older, more mature friends than me, I’m just a child you picked up off of the streets.”

Mark frowned, “First of all, you are not just some random kid. Do you know how many people I’ve met at conventions? You have so much talent and I knew you were gonna do great things. Second, you aren’t a kid in my eyes. You’re such a hard working, professional, smart man, not a child. Third, I have older friends! Bob, Wade, Sean, Tyler, they’re all older than you, and if I’m honest, I like you better than them all.”

Ethan smiled, tears welling up in his eyes, “Thank you Mark, I really needed that.”

“Anytime, bub. You know that I’m here for you if you ever want to talk, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know,” Ethan smiled, “thanks, now I’m crying.”

“You’re welcome.”

Ethan leaned back and punched Mark in the arm. “Abuse!” Mark cried, “This is abuse!”

“You’re a baby.”

Mark just rolled his eyes.

***

After a few minutes of sniffling, Ethan and Mark were both done crying and back to normal. Ethan reached for his phone and started looking for a hotel that they could stay in.

“So,” Ethan asked, “Would you rather stay in a probably rat infested, tiny, one bed room with no shower or pay a crap ton of money for a suite?”

“Ooh,” Mark joked, “it’s up to you.”

“Thanks, that’s a really easy choice,” Ethan deadpanned, “by the way, you’re paying.”

“What is it like, $100?”

Ethan looked at Mark like he was crazy, “No way in hell we are staying in the dingy one! We’re getting a suite!”

Mark scoffed, “Okay princess.”

“Pet names don’t bother me,” Ethan stated.

“Oh I wasn’t-” Mark stuttered, “I was making a joke about you wanting the suite, I wasn’t like,” Mark rubbed the back of his neck with one hand while the other was on the steering wheel, “I wasn’t calling you that like a pet name.”

“Oh.”

“I mean like-”

“No, I get it, you’re a straight guy and I’m not, no homo, I understand.”

Mark sighed, he rubbed his hands up and down the sides of the steering wheel and could feel his palms getting sweatier by the second. He knew that if he didn’t say something soon, Ethan would think that he really did mean to sound like a straight guy who didn’t want the possibility of them dating to even be a joke, but he was so damn nervous.

“That’s not how I meant it and you know that,” Was what he came up with to say.

“Oh really,” Ethan questioned defensively, “then how did you mean it, huh? Got something to say to me Mark? Or are you too scared?”

Mark started to tense up. His arms were fully extended against the steering wheel, with his palms pressed painfully hard against it. His eyes filled up with tears again and he went numb.

“I’m bi,” he said calmly.

Ethan’s head whipped around. “What?” he blurted, “oh my God.”

Mark was steadily crying at this point, and his view of the road was getting blurry.

“I’m so sorry!” Ethan apologized, “I don’t know where that came from! I didn’t mean to force you out! I’m sorry if you weren’t ready! I didn’t mean to get mad, I’m just a little tired, I’m not trying to say that it was oka-”

Mark interrupted him, “Just stop please.”

Ethan was quieted, but his mind was not. Both of their thoughts were flying a million miles an hour. Mark couldn’t believe that he had finally come out, he was having a panic attack and he felt numb and disconnected from the world. Ethan, on the other hand, was way too aware of his surroundings. Every little thing, from the feel of his sweater to the tempo of the song, was messing with his brain. He felt so terrible about getting mad at Mark and forcing him out of the closet. He felt like he was spinning.

After a few moments, they both began to catch their breath. Somehow, Mark had managed not to crash. Both of them were still kind of crying, and it may have seemed a little pathetic. Suddenly unable to contain himself, Ethan started to mutter under his breath.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered over and over, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Stop!” Mark yelled, interrupting Ethan’s existential crisis of sorts.

Ethan’s breath hitched and he bit his lip to stop talking.

“Nothing about that was perfect on either side,” Mark started, “but I needed the push. I was gonna tell you earlier on the couch but I chickened out and came up with the idea to drive here instead. I thought that I could get you drunk and tell you and if it didn’t go well you’d just forget, but this is much more us.”

Both of the boys laughed at that, the tension levels dropping quickly. “I’m glad you told me,” Ethan smiled.

“I’m glad you’re here to listen.”

Their fingers intertwined once more as Ethan pulled up the directions to the fancy hotel. They had about 15 minutes left to drive before they got there, where they could grab some dinner and crash after the long, stressful day. Surprisingly for such a fancy hotel, it was pet friendly so Chica and Spencer could stay with them.

***

When they got to the hotel, Mark pulled into the valet. Ethan grabbed the backpack and cooler from the back while Mark grabbed the dogs’ leashes. A man at the front took the keys to the car from Mark and handed him a card to get it back when they need it.

Confidently walking into the building, Mark and Ethan looked less than classy. They were making quite the scene walking into a fancy hotel in their matching sweaters and sweatpants, two bags, and two dogs. They were certainly getting looks from everyone in the lobby.

They waltzed up to the counter and started to reserve a room. “We’d like a suite please,” Ethan said confidently.

The lady at the front desk looked at them curiously. “Okay,” she cleared her throat and shook her head, trying to remain professional, “Do you know how long you’ll be staying?”

Mark and Ethan looked at each other and then back at the lady, “No,” Mark responded.

“Okay,” the lady replied, “Do you have a card I can start a tab on?”

“Yes,” Mark said, handing her his credit card.

“Great,” she smiled, taking it from his hand, “Since this will be an expensive purchase I will need to see the ID that matches this card.”

Mark pulled out his ID and showed it to her. “Perfect,” she responded, “And are either of you planning on purchasing any alcohol from us?”

Mark looked at Ethan and shrugged. “I might.” Ethan affirmed.

“Alright, I’ll just need to see your ID and you’ll be able to buy anything at the bar, from room service, or from the fridge in your room.”

Ethan pulled his ID out of his backpack and showed her. She finished typing some things on her computer and printed out two room keys. Handing them to the boys, she smiled. “You’ll be on floor 16, room 1643. Any questions?”

“Nope!” Mark and Ethan said in unison. The lady smiled and they walked away, Chica and Spencer trailing behind.

Spencer was shaking as he walked and Ethan noticed. “Are you okay Mr. man?” he said in his baby voice, trying to comfort the small dog. “You’re all good buddy.”

Mark took notice of Ethan trying to comfort Spencer and knelt down to pet the dogs. “Do you want to carry him?” Mark asked Ethan, “I can take the bags and Chica.”

Ethan nodded, “That would probably be best, thanks.”

“No problem,” Mark responded.

***

The elevator dinged, alerting them that they had reached the 16th floor. Stepping out, the boys started down the hallway towards their room. “This is the most spontaneous thing I’ve done since the backflip,” Ethan laughed.

“God,” Mark sighed, “That seems like it was so long ago.”

“Well it was! We were babies back then! That was like what, 7 years ago?”

“It’s certainly been a while,” Mark smiled, “Seems crazy that we’ve known each other for that long.”

“You’re telling me,” Ethan joked.

“We’re here.” Mark announced when they got to their room number.

“Cool.”

“You could be a little more enthusiastic,” Mark said sarcastically, “This room is costing me a pretty penny and you picked it, so you owe me at least a little excitement.”

Ethan set Spencer down and took his key card out of his pocket, “Whatever,” Ethan responded mockingly, putting his key in the slot and pushing open the heavy door.

The boys walked into a large kitchen/living room area. “Woah,” Ethan breathed.

“What?” Mark mocked, “never stayed in a fancy hotel before?”

“Well maybe I would have if you paid me more,” Ethan smirked.

“Should have worked harder,” Mark shrugged.

Ethan scoffed.

The boys continued to walk into the room until they reached the couch Mark let go of Chica’s leash and set the bags on the coffee table. Ethan pet Spencer’s head while Mark unpacked the leftover snacks into the fridge.

When he was done, both of them walked into the bedroom. They each took a quick look out the window before stopping in their tracks.

“Mark,” Ethan breathed out, “Why is there only one bed?”

The boys slowly turned their heads to look at each other. “Um?” Mark hummed, confused.

Suddenly it hit him, “She thought we were dating!” Mark laughed as he fell onto the only bed in the room.

“Oh!” Ethan exclaimed as he joined Mark on the bed, laughing. “Definitely not the most outlandish thing I suppose.”

“No, I suppose not,” Mark agreed, “We did show up in one car, with no idea how long we’re staying, you were holding our one bag full of clothes, we certainly looked pretty couple-y.”

“You forgot our matching sweaters that you picked out,” Ethan added, “those are pretty much the cherry on top!”

“Ah,” Mark nodded, “you are correct.”

Chica leapt up onto the bed with the boys and Spencer followed. The boys started to pet the dogs and they returned the favor by licking their faces.

“Yuck!” Mark yelled when Chica licked his mouth, “Don’t do that!”

“Awe,” Ethan razzed, “what’s wrong markimoo? You don’t like kisses?”

“Well I like human kisses,” Mark glared, “but Chica is not a human if you haven't noticed.”

“Seems a little sus to me.”

“How? Dogs’ mouths are gross! Please tell me you don’t let Spencer lick your mouth.”

“Well,” Ethan slurred, “wait! Why does it matter to you anyway! I am an independent woman Mark!”

“A child is what you are,” Mark joked.

“Got it, we’ve had this conversation 40 times today.”

“And yet you haven’t changed.”

“You should love me the way I am,” Ethan fake cried.

“Unfortunately, I do,” Mark muttered.

“What was that Markimoo?” Ethan teased, “Did you say you love me?”

Mark rolled his eyes, “Yes dumbass.”

“Mark loves me!” Ethan yelled as he jumped up and down on the bed, disturbing the dogs who jumped down in order to not be stepped on.

“Will you please calm down?” Mark asked.

“THE Markiplier said he loves me!” Ethan continued to mock Mark.

“If you’re going to taunt me will you at least sit down and down it?” Mark asked defeatedly, “I don’t want you to fall.”

Ethan scoffed but sat down on the bed. He patted next to him and told Spencer to jump up with him.

“Spencer I’ve got a secret,” He prompted. When Spencer sat down next to him, he leaned into the dog’s ear, “Mark loves me,” he fake-whispered.

Mark just rolled his eyes.

“Well, since there’s only one bed, we have to decide who gets what side,” Mark stated.

“That is true,” Ethan replied, “I get the right side.”

“Wha-What? Who says that you get to pick? I’m paying for this room!”

Ethan peeled off his socks and slipped under the covers on the right side of the bed. “I did,” he responded cheekily, “now are you going to take a nap with me or not?”

Mark huffed and kicked off his shoes, he closed the curtains that flooded the room with natural light. He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled off his socks, tucking them into his shoes and wiggling his toes around.

A muffled noise came from beneath the blankets, alerting Mark that Ethan was trying to talk to him. “I can’t hear what you’re saying,” he told the lump.

Ethan’s head popped out of the blankets, “I said, ‘get in bed and cuddle me or else,’” Ethan repeated.

“Needy bitch,” Mark joked, climbing under the covers next to Ethan.

“Cuddle me,” Ethan whined.

“I’m working on it! Jesus!”

Ethan groaned but cuddled into Mark, who had assumed the position of big spoon.

“Happy?” Mark asked.

Ethan nodded and pushed back into Mark’s chest even further than he already was.

“It’s no wonder the lady thought we’re dating,” Mark laughed, “you’re whipped.”

“You wish,” Ethan mumbled.

“You know I can just do this,” Mark said as he moved his arm from Ethan’s waist over his mouth, “and now, you can’t talk.”

Ethan, not a fan of being silenced, stuck out his tongue and licked Mark’s palm.

“Ew!”

Ethan shrugged, “That’s what you get.”

“Go to sleep,” Mark demanded, jokingly tired of Ethan’s behavior.

***

When Mark woke up hours later, they were no longer spooning. Instead, Ethan’s head was curled into Mark’s chest. As much as he’d hate to admit it, Mark thought that Ethan looked absolutely beautiful. Although the room was dark, The small bit of light that was still visible through the curtains was shining over the top of Ethan’s head. 

Spencer, who was curled up behind Ethan’s legs, and Chica, who was between Mark and Ethan’s feet, were ecstatic to see at least one of the boys awake. Spencer’s tail flapped and Chica crawled up towards Mark’s face, attempting to lick him.

Mark put his finger up to his lips and motioned for Chica to be quiet. He pointed to Ethan and made a face at her, which made her tail wag. Mark smiled.

As much as his body wanted to get out of bed, Mark wanted to stay with Ethan. Forever. Well, maybe not forever, but until he woke up at least.

Which was about 2o minutes later. Ethan was not one to have a consistent sleep schedule, and he always slept better with someone else, be it platonic or not. This was the longest nap he had taken in years and Mark knew better than to wake him up.

Yawning and stretching, Ethan opened his eyes. He looked up into Mark’s eyes and smiled. “Mornin’,” he slurred.

“Dude it’s literally 5 pm,” Mark responded.

“Oh.”

“Do you want to order dinner? I hear the room service here is great.”

Ethan groaned and grabbed Mark’s sweater, “Stay,” he muttered grumpily.

“You’re so needy, jesus.”

“You’re warm,” Ethan protested, “five more minutes.”

“I can order food from bed, the phone’s right here,” Mark explained, “all you have to do is tell me what you want.”

“Pet me.”

“What?”

Ethan grabbed Mark’s hand and put it on top of his head, “Pet me,” he repeated.

“Weirdo.”

Ethan just grunted.

Mark sighed but complied, stroking the top of Ethan’s head and humming a song.

Five minutes later, Mark and Ethan were both asleep again, curled up together. Dinner was long forgotten from their minds, but not from the dogs’.

Spencer was the first to whine, but Chica was quick to join in. After about 2 minutes, Mark was awakened by the dogs. “What do you want chica beeka?”

Chica whined and stared. Finally, Mark caught up, “Dinner, got it. Makes sense I suppose.”

He slipped out of the bed, trying his best not to wake up Ethan, who clearly needed the sleep. He looked in the bags they had brought and couldn’t find any dog food. Defeated, he walked back into the bedroom.

He tapped Ethan lightly on the shoulder, trying to be polite but knowing ultimately that it wouldn’t work.

It didn’t.

So jabbed at Ethan’s arm with the tips of his fingers, poked his cheeks, booped his nose, and finally, started to comb his hair with his fingers.

That woke him up. Startled, Ethan’s eyes fluttered open and he quickly looked to Mark. “What’re you doing up?” Ethan asked.

“Chica and Spencer were whining,” Mark explained, “they want dinner and we didn’t bring any dog food.”

Ethan groaned, “I’m such a terrible dog parent, I’ll be an even worse parent!”

“You’ll be a great dad Ethan! You’re still young and this was a one-time thing! You take great care of Spencer, he loves you!”

“You really think so?”

“As long as you get out of bed, yeah.”

“Thanks, but why do I have to get up?”

“We have to go get a small bag of dog food at the pet store, they can share since we probably won’t be here long.”

“Oh, alright.”

“Don’t be such a whiny baby.”

“Sorry,” Ethan muttered sadly. He was suddenly on the verge of tears.

“Dude, I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m sorry, I was joking.”

“I know you didn’t, I’m just tired.”

“If you don’t want to go with me, that’s fine, you can stay here and nap, you look like you need it.”

“Thanks a lot,” Ethan replied sarcastically.

“I just meant-”

“No, no, no, I get it. I’ll go with you, I probably should get out of bed or I’ll be keeping you up all night,” Ethan replied with a wink.

“You’re gross.”

Ethan didn’t respond, he just reached over the side of the bed and grabbed his socks and shoes, putting them back on and standing up. Mark already had his on.

“Let’s go lesbians!” Ethan yelled.

“What?” This was the second time that day that Ethan had randomly mentioned lesbians and Mark was just as confused this time as he was the first time.  
“It’s a reference I’m disappointed you don’t understand.”

“Got it, let’s go wonder boy.”

“Wonder boy?” Ethan questioned.

“Yeah, you make everyone around you wonder what they did to deserve your presence.”

“I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or not so i’m just gonna assume it is.”

“Good instinct.”

“Bitch.”

“Feisty,” Mark laughed.

“Only when you’re being mean,” Ethan defended, “soft boi, remember?”

“I think you’re just clinging onto your youth.”

“I am only 24 mister! I’m not old like you!”

“I’m literally 7 years older, i’m not that old.”

“Mark’s an old man! Mark’s an old man!” Ethan chanted as he skipped out the door and over to the elevator, “Mark’s an old man!”

“Will you shut it?” Mark snapped, “you’re so mean to me!” he fake cried.

“Oh boohoo, you should be used to it by now. I’ve been here for a while and I’m not leaving anytime soon.”

“We’re practically married, it’s disgusting,” Mark joked.

“What’s so gross about us being married?” Ethan questioned, “you don’t think you could handle being married to me?”

“Hmm,” Mark pondered, “I guess I could, I don’t think it would be that much different from it is now, just a little more legally invested and we’d probably have to live together.”

“I could handle being married to you,” Ethan blurted.

“Handle? What is there to handle about being married to me? I’d be a dream husband!”

“Prove it.”

“What? How?”

“Well we’ve got all day tomorrow,” Ethan replied.

The elevator dinged, letting them out on the ground floor of the hotel.

“I don’t like what you’re suggesting,” Mark answered, “and besides, we don’t even have any camera equipment.”

“We don’t need any! We’ll just get ‘married’ for a week, see who’s the better husband, kisser,” Ethan paused, then smirked, “love maker.”

“Ew, just ew.”

Ethan put his hand over his heart, “I’m wounded!” he shouted, “killed by Markiplier insulting me!”

“You’re an idiot.”

***

A few minutes later, the boys had located a pet store and were shopping for some dog food.

“Alright,” Mark blurted out of nowhere.

“Alright what?”

“We can do the wedding thing.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, i suppose.”

“Make it official.”

“What?”

“Well we can’t just get married, you gotta make it official! Propose to me Mark!”

“But it was your fucking idea!”

Ethan stared him down.

“Fine, give me a second.”

Mark walked away to the section of bulk dog treats. He grabbed a twist-tie intended for the bags and twisted it into the shape of a ring, He walked back to Ethan.

“You better appreciate me,” Mark threatened, “or else.”

Ethan giggled in response.

Mark dropped down on one knee, putting up the twist-tie ring. “Ethan Mark Nestor, will you marry me?”

Ethan teared up, putting his acting skills to work. “Oh my god!” he yelled.

People all around the store turned around and walked out of the aisles to see what was happening.

“Yes!”

Mark stood up, trying to hide the fact that he was having trouble getting up, knowing Ethan would just tease him about it.

Ethan jumped into Mark’s arms and wrapped his legs around Mark’s torso, pulling him in and tucking his head into the crook of Mark’s neck.

Some people around the store started clapping, some visibly confused. Ethan was giggling into Mark’s ear and Mark could have sworn he felt a tear or two stream down his cheek.

Ethan was having the time of his life. He was on an impromptu trip with his long-time crush, who had just proposed to him. Even if it wasn’t real, Ethan couldn’t help but cry a little. He had dreamt of this day for a long time, and the thought of it happening, even as a joke, was bound to be an emotional experience, even if he was acting it up a little bit.

There were plenty of dumb things that the two of them had done together since they met all those years ago, and somehow, this idea had reached the top of the list. Maybe it wasn’t the top thing, there were plenty of Unus Annus videos that could occupy that spot.

When Mark finally set him down, Ethan wiped the not-so-fake tears from his cheeks and started to laugh. Mark was staring judgingly until he finally broke, throwing his head back.

Along with the entirety of the internet, Mark’s laugh was one of Ethan’s favorite things. People had pointed out the soft look that often occupied Ethan’s face when Mark laughed. Seeing him throw his head back was one of the most rewarding things Ethan had experienced.

Mark was in a gay panic. Now that Ethan was aware of his sexuality, Mark was afraid that any moves he made would be perceived as flirting. Not to say that they aren’t, but anything above their normal “platonic” behavior is a hazard to both Mark’s heart and their friendship as a whole.

But for now, none of that mattered. For once, they were doing something on their own terms, without the limitations of what the internet might think.

“There are a lot of dumb videos that we’ve made in the past,” Mark sputtered out in between laughing, “but this is the dumbest thing we’ve ever done period.”

“You’re not wrong,” Ethan nodded, “But it’s not dangerous, so it can’t be that bad.”

Mark hummed in agreement as they walked up to the counter, paying for the small bag of dog food and then leaving the store.

“I suppose we should get back and feed the dogs,” Mark observed as they wandered aimlessly down the street.

“You’re right,” Ethan concurred, “Should probably feed ourselves, too.”

“Makes sense to me. Room service?”

“Obviously! What’s more fun than spending way too much money on mediocre food just so you can eat it in bed?”

“I could show you something more fun,” Mark winked, briefly making eye contact with Ethan.

Blushing, Ethan hurried to spit back a clever response and was only left a stuttering mess.

At some point while walking back to the hotel, Mark and Ethan’s hands had found their way back together. Everything about the trip was so dreadfully domestic, and yet the two managed to stay completely oblivious to each other’s feelings.

When they got back to the hotel and fed the dogs out of bowls meant for their own use, the boys flopped down onto the bed. Nearly bashing their heads into each other’s would be a concerning thing to most people, but Mark and Ethan, tired as they were, thought it was hilarious.

“Nap?” Ethan mumbled in Mark’s direction.

“We need to get food first, and take the dogs on a walk,” Mark listed, “There’s no way it’ll be just a nap and we both know that.”

Ethan groaned in response but sat up, “We should probably get on that then.”

Mark pulled a menu out of the nightstand and scooted next to Ethan, “are you hungry?”

“Not really,” Ethan concluded, “are you hungry or do you want to split something?”

“We can share,” Mark agreed, repositioning.

The boys looked through the menu before deciding to split a BLT. After Mark placed the order, he rested his head on top of Ethan’s and closed his eyes.

Ethan mumbled something incoherent before he dozed off on Mark’s shoulder. Mark laughed gently and pet the side of Ethan’s face. “What a baby,” Mark smiled.

After a few minutes and a knock on the door, Mark lightly shook Ethan to wake him up. "Eth," he cooed, "food's here."

Ethan stirred and groaned, stretching out his legs and curling into Mark's chest again. "Ethan," Mark laughed, "you have to get up."

Ethan's eyes fluttered open as he whined, sitting up and looking drowsily towards Mark. "Huh?"

"The food," Mark gently repeated, "is at the door."

Ethan nodded, finally understanding what Mark meant, "oh."

"Can I get up and get it," Mark teased, "or do you need to go with me?"

Ethan thought over the question, still sleepy, "I think I need to go too," he concluded.

Mark rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, scooting to the end of the bed and scooping Ethan up into a piggy back ride.

"Hubby," Ethan giggled quietly as Mark carried him to the hotel room door.

Ethan clung to Mark's shoulders as they bent down to pick up the sandwich. Taking care not to drop it, or Ethan, on the floor, Mark set the BLT on the counter.

Not missing a beat, Mark ran over to the king sized bed and dumped Ethan onto it.  
"Hey!" Ethan yelled, mock offended, "don't treat your husband like that!"

Mark rolled his eyes and flopped down next to Ethan, "technically," he sassed, "we're not married; we're engaged."

Ethan sat up, "technically, you're being an idiot."

Mark scoffed and went to sit up, only to be pushed back by Ethan. Startled, Mark looked quizzically up at Ethan, who was moving to straddle Mark's hips.

When Ethan was fully sat up on Mark's lap, he layed down on top of his chest, elbows on either side of Mark's large pecs.

"You're lucky you're cute," Mark sighed, "otherwise you'd be on the floor."

"Oh really?" Ethan puzzled, "I don't think that's true."

"Well it is."

"Prove it."

"How the fuck-" Mark started, interrupted suddenly by Ethan giggling.

Rolling over on top of him, Mark pressed a kiss on Ethan's nose. "What are you laughing at?"

Ethan sat up, looking up into Mark's eyes, ans smiled. "You," he said fondly, before falling back onto the mattress and pulling Mark down on top of himself.

"What's so funny about me?" Mark asked.

"Nothin'," Ethan responded, "just think you're cute."

Mark glared suspiciously but chose not to say anything. "We should eat and then go to bed," he suggested, adding a wink at the end.

Ethan stuck his tongue out at him and sat up. "Race you to the kitchen!" He yelled, jumping up and sprinting to the table.

The boys, childish as they were, managed to eat their sandwich relatively normally, with the exception of some dirty jokes and a few kicks to each other's shins.

"I hope you know how you annoying you are," Mark teased after a particularly dumb joke. Ethan smiled fondly, mouth full of bacon, and rolled his eyes.

A few minutes later, a sharp buzzing broke their comfortable silence. Ethan's phone, which was on their bed, was ringing.

After making quick eye contact and Mark signalling that it was fine, Ethan got up to answer the call. It was Amy.

"Amy!" Ethan greeted, "what's up?"

"Hey Ethan, where are you?" Amy hurriedly asked, not nearly as enthusiastic as Ethan.

"Uhh,"

"Have you seen Mark?"

"Uhh,"

"Ethan," Amy sternly questioned, "be honest."

Ethan looked up at Mark and then down at the floor. "I'm in San Francisco," he answered truthfully.

Ethan could hear Amy's confusion through the phone, "and the second question?" Amy followed up.

"I mean, yeah." Ethan replied.

"Ethan!"

"Uhh,"

"Ethan, is Mark with you?"

Ethan once again looked to Mark, who shrugged and went back to eating. Ethan rolled his eyes, "I mean, yeah, he is."

Amy sighed, "any reason you two are in San Francisco?"

"For fun?" Ethan stuttered, "and our honeymoon," he tacked on, immediately regretting it.

Amy's gentle pacing through the phone stopped short, "sorry, I must have heard you wrong. Did you say your honeymoon?"

"Kind of? I mean it's our wedding too, but like-"

Amy cut Ethan off, "what the fuck?"

Ethan started to stutter a reply, only to have Amy interrupt him again. "Ethan are you on drugs?"

"Y-"

"Anything other than your prescriptions, Ethan, you know what I mean."

"Okay mom," Ethan teased, "no, I'm not."

"Are you sure? Can you give the phone to Mark?"

Ethan walked over to Mark and handed him the phone, "hello?"

"Mark?" Amy asked, "where are you?"

"San Francisco. I thought Ethan just told you that?"

"I was just making sure. Why are you two anywhere other than your own houses?"

"Jesus, Amy, what's your deal?"

"We were supposed to film today, jackass! Tyler, Evan, and I have been trying to get ahold of you two for hours!"

Mark fished his phone out of his pocket, "oh."

"Yeah 'oh'," she sassed, "anyway, hope you two have fun. Know when you'll be back in town?"

“Um,” Mark looked over at Ethan, getting no response but smiling anyway, “Not really. Probably not too long, but we didn’t think anything through, so it’s hard to plan around nothing.”

“Mmm,” Amy hummed, “Well I’m happy for you two, I wish you the best.”

“What? Oh! I-” Mark stuttered, “We’re not, ya know?”

“Wait,” Amy inquired, “You guys are married and on your honeymoon but not even dating?”

“I mean, no. not yet at least.”

“I can’t even with you. Y’all have been pining over each other for years and can’t even get it together while you’re alone on an impromptu vacation? What the hell?”

“Sorry to disappoint, cupid. And what do you mean we’ve been pining for years? I figured out my,” Mark stopped mid-sentence to look over at Ethan, unsure if he was listening or not, “I got my shit together this morning Amy, what are you on about?”

“You’re the biggest fucking dumbass I’ve ever fucking met,” Amy stated matter-of-factly, “Ethan doesn’t look at anyone the way he looks at you!”

“So?” Mark questioned, voice getting quieter as the conversation progressed, “Doesn’t mean he’s,” Mark’s paused, drawing circles with his finger on the table, “In love with me or whatever.”

“Let me ask you this, have you and Ethan ever cuddled before?”

“Yeah, all the time.”

“When was the last time you cuddled?”

Mark was quiet for moment, thinking of the answer to her question, “Well I suppose it was this morning.”

Amy giggled, “My point exactly!”

“That doesn’t mean anything! People cuddle with their friends all the time!”

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“When was the last time you cuddled anyone but Ethan?”

“Ouch.”

“You know what I meant, you’re not an affectionate person! Cuddling your friends is not whatever you think “normal” behavior is.”

“Whatever.”

“You’re just mad that I’m right. Anyway, since you guys aren’t gonna be here to film, I’m gonna go work on my own projects.”

“Alright, sounds good.”

“You’re not allowed to come back until you and Ethan are dating. For real this time.”

“Okay, Okay, I get it. No promises though.”

“Don’t fight me on this.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Fuck off,” Amy joked and then hung up,

“What did she want?” Ethan asked, tired of waiting patiently.

“We were supposed to film with Tyler today. Evan and the two of them were at my house wondering if we were dead.”

“Did you say yes?”

“Obviously,” Mark responded sarcastically, “Were you not listening to the conversation?”

“Bold of you to assume I can pay attention that long.”

“Fair.”

“Is it bedtime yet?”

“Bedtime? What are you, six?”

Ethan pouted in response to the teasing, “you’re just a big meany,”

“You love it,” Mark winked, laying down next to Ethan, who was on his stomach.

“You didn’t answer my question, asshole. Are you gonna let me go to bed now or not?”

“Whoa, whoa, woah, what’s with the insult?”

“I fu-”

“Is mr. gameplays a little cranky?”

“Shut your mouth,”

“Or what?”

Ethan climbed on top of Mark, straddling his trunk and grabbing his cheeks with one hand, “You sure you want to find out?”

Mark raised his eyebrows, “Bold of you to assume I couldn’t guess.”

They sat there making eye contact for a minute before Ethan coughed awkwardly and started to climb off of him. “I, uh-”

Mark cut Ethan off by pulling him back to where he had been sitting. He rested his hands on the sides of Ethan’s face and pulled it close to his own, “Oh what the hell,” he sighed, and softly connected their lips.

Gentle, slow, and soft, the boys fully leaned into the kiss. It was so cliche, yet so unique, so foreign, yet familiar, so warm, yet refreshing. It seemed to last forever, but in reality it was only a few seconds.

Mark pulled away hesitantly and scooted back into the pile of pillows behind him. “I’m sorry,” he stuttered, “I really shouldn’t have done that. I was just acting on impulse. It’s been a long day, and i-”

Ethan cut him off with another kiss, pulling away quickly. “It was perfect,” he whispered, “don’t apologize.”

Ethan rolled off of Mark and cuddled up next to him, twirling his messy hair between his fingers. “So,” he sighed, “where do we go from here?”

Mark turned on his side to face Ethan, who frowned, unable to reach Mark’s hair in their new position. “I don’t know.”

“Well for starters,” Ethan reasoned, “we both like boys. That’s the first step.”

“Good observation,” Mark giggled, “and i’m gonna take a stab in the dark and say that maybe we both like each other, specifically?”

“You would be correct. Any other data?”

“This is so stupid,” Mark giggled.

“Boyfriends?”

“Boyfriends.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.”

“Finally.”

“You right,” Ethan joked.

“Hey! That’s my line!”

“No, it’s our line now.”

“Dumbass,” Mark lovingly teased, “you just sound like you’re making a communism joke.”

“Maybe I am.”

“You know why communism jokes are so funny?”

“Why?”

“‘Cause everyone gets ‘em.”

Ethan punched Mark’s shoulder, “who let you have access to the internet?”

“What? I came up with that absolutely genius joke all by myself, thank you very much.”

“Sure you did.”

“Hey man, why you gotta be so mean to me?”

“Man?” Ethan giggled, “I’ll give you a pass this time, but if you keep calling me bro nicknames, you’ll be six feet under.”

“Hot.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Takes one to know one,” Mark mumbled under his breath.

“What’d you just say to me?”

“I said,” Mark replied sarcastically, “I think we should go to bed.”

“No you didn’t! What’d you really say?”

“That is what I really said!”

Chica hopped up on the bed, interrupting their argument. “Hi beeks,” Ethan baby talked, “your dad’s a liar.”

Chica “harrumphed” and sat down. Spencer joined them and laid on Ethan’s lap.

“Full bed,” Mark commented, “better not be like this when we get back home.”

“Why’d you think I want to sleep with you when I could sleep in my own bed?”

“Oh are you saying that you’d rather sleep alone?” Mark smirked, “Because I know for a fact that’s not true.”

“No,” Ethan protested, “I have Spencer, I don’t need you.”

“Ah, I see,” Mark mocked sarcastically, “and that’s why you’re cuddled into me right now?”

“I’m not gonna survive dating you.”

“You said I wouldn’t be able to handle it this morning! Oh how the tables have turned.”

“How the turns tabled,” Ethan whispered into the pillow.

“What?”

"You don't-" Ethan gasped, "oh my God!"

"I'm so confused."

“Give me the remote!”

“What? I-” Mark stuttered, “alright.”

Once handed the remote, Ethan turned on the TV and opened the YouTUbe app. He clicked guest and typed “vine” into the search bar.

“Your internet references are lacking,” he teased, “you’re about to get educated.”

“I’m scared.”

“Of what? Vine? You’re fine.”

Ethan clicked on the first compilation that popped up and snuggled up into Mark’s chest. “Prepare to be amazed,” he stated.

“Oh I am,” Mark replied sarcastically.

5 minutes later, Mark was softly giggling at a random vine compilation, and Ethan was asleep. It wasn’t surprising, considering the long day of adventuring and Mark’s calm, steady breathing. 

Mark was so unbelievably in love with him that it was a wonder he had just figured it out. It seemed that everyone else knew before he did. Maybe it was because he was bad at figuring out signals, or because he could never even fathom the idea of them together before they started dating. Whatever the reason, the fact remains, Mark was oblivious to the love he felt for Ethan even when the world was trying to push them together.

It hadn’t occurred to him that whatever force was, or wasn’t, guiding their pathetic little human lives, had tried multiple times to get them together.

There was the first time, when they met outside of the panel in 2013. 2013? 2014? Who knows. Ethan did a backflip for Mark that day. He was vlogging. Told him he was a huge inspiration and gave him a hug.

Then there was the next year. Bob let him go up to the front. He high-fived strangers and hugged Sean on the way up. Tried to go up on stage and Mark stopped him. Then he did ‘the backflip’ even though it wasn’t the first time. Mark remembered the first backflip at the time, he was so confident in his memory that he recognized Ethan and called it out to the crowd. But as the years went by, he allowed his memory of their first meeting to get foggy.

When there were so many new, fun, exciting memories to be made, remembering a time before they were the best of friends seemed pointless. Everything before that life changing phone call was irrelevant until now.

Mark cursed himself for it, looking back. How could he have been so foolish as to forget the memories that would eventually matter the most? Ethan remembered them, he was sure, but not having his own recollection of the moment would surely come back to bite him in the butt.

The train of thought refused to leave his mind, so Mark did the only thing he could try to calm his mind. It was a hobby nobody knew he did, not because he hid it, but because it never came up. He grabbed his poetry journal from his backpack, which, thankfully, was right next to the bed.

Careful not to wake up Ethan, Mark took the pencil out of the cream colored pages and started to write.

His handwriting has never been the best, but it’s legible. He takes extra care to make the poetry legible, even if no one will ever read it.

Some might say it’s a waste of talent to hide his poems away, but it’s never been about the poems themselves. People think Mark’s a stone-cold, try-hard, who has no feelings and cares about nothing. It’s not the case, Mark just doesn’t need to share his feelings with other people.

He spilled his heart into the pages, writing down the things he could feel and see, the smells, the sounds, the taste of the moment. He was determined that from that night on, he'd do everything in his power to remember the little things that made it all so special.

"Writing about you is the most difficult thing in the world. You cannot be compared to one thing because you are everything; you always have been"

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated <3  
> Interact with me!  
> Instagram: @unus.annus.eilish  
> Tumblr: @the-inevitability-of-death  
> Twitter: @elle_says_words


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